I’ve already heard multiple versions of this story but this one’s sounds like the best of them all. Read it and enjoy.
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry, what’s your problem?” Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!”
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: “What is 3 x 3?” Harry: “9″. Principal: “What is 6 x 6?” Harry: “36″. And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.”
Ms. Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions.” The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?” Harry, after a moment: “Legs.” Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?” The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: “Pockets.” Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?” Harry: “Pants” Ms. Brooks: What’s starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid? Harry: “Coconut.” The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Brooks: “What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?” The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer. Harry: “Bubble gum” Ms. Brooks: “What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?” Harry: “Shake hands.” The principal was trembling. Ms. Brooks: “What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?” Harry: “Firetruck”
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong!”
A man walks into a coffee shop and places his order. “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.” The girl behind the counter says, “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”
I’m not sure how accurate the following photos are but I think they are true. Introducing the best Police Cars in the World…
Germany - Lamborghini Gallardo - Max Speed 320km/hr
Japan - Lancer Evo IX - Max Speed 280km/hr
France - Peugeot Sports GT
Spain - Audi TT - Max Speed 280km/hr
England - Porsche - Do I have to tell the speed
Now for the Ultimate Police Car in the World !!!
Philippines… now what’s that?
Astig!!!
An old man turned ninety-eight. He won the lottery and died the next day… of chronic emphysema from inhalation of the latex particles scratched off decades’ worth of lottery tickets.
Duh!
A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar and sees a picture of President Bush hanging behind the bartender. He calls the bartender over and says, “You should take that picture down. George Bush is a blight upon this nation. He should be impeached.”
The bartender, a life-long Republican, is completely offended. “Why you liberal piece of garbage. How dare you come into my bar and tell me how to run my business!” “Listen, I’m the customer, so I’m always right.” the man says. “That picture offends me, so I want you to take it down.”
“That tears it,” the bartender says, “How would you like it if I came into your bar and told you what to do?” “Well, you’d be the customer, so you’d be right,” the man says. “Fine, then let’s switch places,” the bartender says.
So, they do. The man takes the bartender’s place behind the bar, and the bartender walks outside, waits a moment, and then comes back inside. The bartender sits at the bar and says to the bar, “You should take that pin off. The Democrats are destroying our country with their liberal agenda.” “Sorry,” the man says, “but we don’t serve Republicans here.”
By now you’ve probably heard all of the hubub about the new iPhone that Apple debuted today. And while that’s all well and good, there are some other upcoming techno-wonders that Apple has up its sleeve that are far more exciting:
iSpaghetti
You love spaghetti, but analog spaghetti just can’t keep up in this era of digital food. Luckily the iSpaghetti rockets pasta into the new millenium. Not only does it fit in your pocket, but it hold as much spaghetti as 1000 CDs!
iFerret
Even though Sony’s venture into the electronic mammal market was a massive flop, Steve Jobs is confident Generation-Y will flock to this sleek white critter. It comes equipped with built in wifi so you can share your ferret with your friends online, and a docking station is in the works to connect the iFerret with your washing machine.
iEye
While it sounds like revolutionary new technology that would allow the blind to see, the oddly named iEye is actually just a version of iSpaghetti with added video and meatball capabilities.
Didn’t know there are people who hate the idea of blogs - or at least annoyed by its overuse nowadays. Take this T-shirt for example…
Ok, now that’s threatening… 
This shirt was found at fimoculous.com.
