Mike Lopez Blogs
Are you tired of all those Microsoft Windows errors you’re getting? Me too and that’s why I switched to Linux. Anyway, if the MS Errors you’re getting are giving you a headache then here’s a fun way to deal with it. Check it out.
Cool huh?! Switch to Linux today!
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, “Let’s go!” The tense man sitting in the pilot’s seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.
“Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “And make several low-level passes.”
“Why?” asked the nervous pilot.
“Because I’m going to take pictures!” yelled the photographer. “I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!”
The pilot replied, “You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”
Never really thought that the wise guys over at NASA would make spelling mistakes. I always thought that they’re so fine-tuned that such errors as this won’t find it’s way to the launchpad but here you go… believe it or not! This is real life funny stuff.
NASA scrambled one of it’s men out to pad 39A to replace a sign that has the orbiter Endeavour’s name spelled wrong. They then posted a photo at the Kennedy Space Center’s web site. Problem was when the shuttle was rolled out to its seaside launch complex last Wednesday, one item was missing: the “u” in Endeavour.
The wrong version
The quick-fixed version
Why does it need the “u”? Isn’t Endeavor correct anyway?
Well, the orbiter is named after HM Bark Endeavour, the ship commanded by 18th century explorer James Cook; the name also honored Endeavour, the Command Module of Apollo 15. According to answers.com, this is why the name is spelled in the British English manner.
Geez… now I know we’ll see all manner of mistakes in NASA.
When we speak of logistics, the most common thought that comes into our minds are trucks, warehouses and large bridges so when I received an email that shows otherwise, I couldn’t help but post them here. After all, posting these photos on my blog is way lot better than forwarding the email to others.
Enjoy these photos…
AND THE WINNER OF THEM ALL…
Note: None of these photos were taken by Mike Lopez. All of these were part of a forwarded email.
Scientists from all over the globe finally mapped the human brain. The achievement revealed huge differences between the female brain and the male brain - differences that quite explain why women are so different compared to men. Furthermore, scientists found out that male brains operate at a more simpler level while on the other hand, the structure of the female brain is so complex - you could get lost in it.
Take a look at the diagram below to see how complex the female brain is.
Now take a look at the simplicity of the male brain. Note that the male brain is so simple that you may have to look at it longer before you see the details.
Cheers!
Benj and his wife Marcia went to the state fair every year. Every year Benj would say, “Marcia, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.”
And every year Marcia would say, “I know Benj, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”
One year Benj and Marcia went to the fair and Benj said, “Marcia, I’m 71 years old. If I don’t ride that airplane this year I may never get another chance.”
Marcia replied, “Benj, that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.”
The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I’ll make you a deal, I’ll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won’t charge you, but if you say one word it’s ten dollars.”
Benj and Marcia agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. They landed and the pilot turned to Benj, “By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn’t.”
Benj replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Marcia fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.”
Bill and Ned walk into a fast food joint one afternoon to get lunch. Bill orders and the cashier gives him his meal. Ned goes up to order and the cashier greets him with “Hello Ned! How are you? Hey everybody! Ned’s here!” Everybody in the restaurant comes up and says hello to Ned. After everyone has greeted him, Bill and Ned sit down and begin to eat.
“Ned, you’re pretty popular!” says Bill. “I’m the most popular man in the world,” says Ned.
“Now Ned,” says Bill, your pretty popular but you’re not the most popular man in the world.”
“Oh yeah,” Ned replies “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I’m friends with anybody you can name!”
“That so?” answers Bill, “How about the President of the United States?”
“Let’s go!” says Ned.
The two fly to Washington and knock on the front door of the White House. The president answers, “Ned! How are you doing? I haven’t seen you in ages!” The three go play a round of golf and then leave.
“That was luck!” says Bill, “Two thousand says your not friends with the Queen of England!”
“Let’s go!” says Ned.
The two fly to Buckingham Palace and, sure enough, are greeted by the Queen. ”Hello Ned my boy! What have you been up to these days?” They enter the palace and have some tea and leave.
Frustrated, Bill says, “Double or nothing, you don’t know the Pope!”
“Benny!” says Ned, “Let’s go!”
When they get to the Vatican, Ned instructs Bill to wait outside and Ned will come out on the balcony with his arm around the Pope. After a while, a crowd gathers to hear the Pope speak. And as told by Ned, when the Pope came out, Ned’s arm was wrapped around him. Ned looks down from the balcony and see’s Bill passed out on the ground. He rushes down and wakes him up.
“Bill! Bill! Wake up!” Bill opens his eyes and says,
“Ned. You’re the most popular man in the world.”
“I told you that, Bill,” says Ned, “but you didn’t faint when I knew the President! You didn’t faint when I knew the Queen!”
“Well I was shocked that you knew the Pope,” says Bill. “But I just couldn’t take it when the guy next to me tapped me on the shoulder and said “Who’s that up there with Ned?”
Mrs. Bacciagalupe comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner. Anthony lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, Momma can’t help but notice how pretty Anthony’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of the relationship between the two, and this made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than meets the eye.
Reading his Mom’s thoughts, Anthony volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Mama, Maria and I are just roommates.”
About a week later, Maria comes to Anthony saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”
“Well, I doubt it, but I’ll e-mail her, just to be sure.” So he sends his Mom an email:
“Dear Momma, I’m not saying that you took the sugar bowl from my house, and I’m not saying that you didn’t take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Anthony”
Several days later, Anthony receives an email response from his Momma.
“Figlio mio, I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Maria, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with her. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.”
Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren’t prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why, yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.”
The defense attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, “If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you to the electric chair.”
This is quite an old joke but I’ll share it with you anyway…
A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous.
The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit’s end as to what to do about their sons’ behavior.
The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children in the past, so they contacted him, and he agreed to give it his best shot. He asked to see the boys individually, so the eight-year-old was sent to meet with him first. The clergyman sat the boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?”
The boy made no response, so the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?”
Again the boy made no attempt to answer, so the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face, “WHERE IS GOD?”
At that, the boy bolted from the room, ran directly home, and slammed himself in his closet. His older brother followed him into the closet and said, “What happened?”
The younger brother replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time. God is missing and they think we did it!”
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